Monday, June 28, 2010

Celebrity Snubbings!

So, anyone who knows me, knows that I love, love, love…LOVE comedy. Just like the “beat goes on,” so does my list of favorite comedians. When I received the Zanies (Nashville) flyer showing Tracy Morgan on the schedule, you could say that I was all a-flutter. You would also be making a cosmic understatement. I immediately made plans to go to the show, even though, I had other obligations in Memphis that weekend. No problem…I’d try and leave work early on Friday, then drive back Saturday, early afternoon. Nashville is only about 3 or 3 ½ hour’s drive, however, I seem to ALWAYS find bumper-to-bumper traffic at some point along the way. So, at least one leg of the trip ALWAYS takes more like 5 hours.

My friend was keen on making a quick trip to see Tracy Morgan, then drive back. She had a hot date on Saturday night. Let’s face it, my friends and I do have our priorities in order. Comedy first, then hot dates. :-)

So, Friday morning began to set the tone for the rest of the day; last minute packing; busy at work – would I even be able to leave on time? When I finally picked up my friend and we were on our way, I breathed a sigh of relief…too soon. Bumper to bumper traffic on the interstate AND we weren’t even out of Memphis yet. No worries. Luckily, I was right beside an exit…well, two lanes over. So I inched my way over to the exit ramp (thank you truckers who let me over) and skipped the portion of the interstate that was grid locked. We actually made the trip in really good time.

We stayed at Hotel Indigo, which is really nice, but the lighting in the room is much to be desired. Especially, if one intends on applying make –up…which we did. The front desk guy, Bag (I swear that’s what his name tag said), laughed the entire time he was checking us in. Okay, so my friends and I are goofy, but I didn’t think we were THAT funny. Bag asked if we wanted one or two queen sized beds. My friend immediately said, “two”…then turned to me and said, “unless you want to spoon.” To which I replied, “it has been a long time, but no thanks, I’m good.” Bag could not stop giggling.

On our way to Zanies! We're big pimpin' in the hotel's "shuttle!"

Off to the show we went. We arrived at Zanies super early so that we could get seats close to the stage. Maybe Tracy Morgan would razz us. We were able to get seats pretty close to the stage. Score! We ordered drinks and appetizers as we waited for show time to arrive. When the first warm up comedian took the stage, I figured it would be a good time to use the restroom. I certainly didn’t want to miss any of Tracy Morgan’s set. When I walked out of the bathroom door, into the cul-de-sac that was the hallway to the restroom, who was standing there looking at the photos of comedians hanging on the wall? TRACY freakin' MORGAN! I had to walk past him to leave the bathroom area & get back to my seat. If I didn’t say something to him, I knew that I would mentally kick myself for the rest of my life. So, as I walked passed him, I lightly touched his arm and said, “Tracy Morgan, I’m so excited that you’re here!” He looked at me with a blank look and looked back at the photo’s hanging on the wall. No, “thanks”…no, “screw you”…nothing. So, I just smiled and walked off.

That experience might have skewed my view of the show, but I really don’t think it did. When Tracy Morgan took the stage, immediately, we all thought he was wearing a woman’s shirt. It was the long sleeved type of shirt that has the fabric tag & button so that you can roll up the sleeves and fasten the tag to the button to make it into quarter sleeves. And he did have the sleeves rolled to quarter length. Soon, it became evident that he was not drunk, but not sober. That said, in his defense of the earlier "snubbing," it's quite possible that he thought I was a really tall illusion.

Well, whatever…as long as he’s funny, right? Funny, yes. Utterly vile and disgusting, very. Now, don’t get me wrong, I like gross/dirty comedy, as long as it’s funny, but Mr. Morgan kinda went over the line…A LOT. One of his jokes was about ordering off of the expensive (lobster/steaks, etc.) side of the menu. He warns his date that “That’s the three finger side of the menu. Three finger minimum." I won’t tell you what is done with those three fingers. Let’s just say, it made me dry heave. He also talks about running red lights…and he’s not talking about driving…

Yeah, it was dirty, he wasn’t a gracious celebrity, but it was still fun. But…the night didn’t end with the show. Afterward, there were more drinks to be had, arguments with idiots who want to discuss politics and Christianity, but only have one line of reasoning (literally) and who just keeps repeating that one line, until the other person gets frustrated and gives up. Then (almost) strangers thinking it is okay to smack someone else’s butt in public.

Having fun after the show...even after the "butt smacking" incident.

On the way home, of course, we ran into bumper to bumper traffic…in true "Martie" fashion, the trip took close to 5hrs. Was it worth it? Hands down, YES! I got a story out of the whole ordeal, didn’t I?

Friday, June 25, 2010

More Bicycling Weekends!

What, at the time seemed like the hottest day, so far (until the next day), was also the day of the 20, 40 or 60 mile bike ride to benefit Juvenile Diabete's Research. My friend and I decided on the 40 miler. Me on my steel framed 35 lb+ mountain bike, "Big Bertha" and her on her lighter hybrid bike. Here we are bright eyed and busy tailed. The temperature was only about 85 degrees at this point...8:00am.

At each 10 mile marker, there was a "SAG" station. I believe it stands for Service and Gear, or something like that. It's a place to refresh on fluids and eat some fruit or carbs...or both! We survived the first 30 miles and were even still smiling. Along the way, we met a lady, wearing a Betty Boop cycling shirt. She was a complete riot. And not just because of the shirt. At the mile 30 SAG station, we asked her if we could take a picture of with her in her Betty Boop shirt. Well, she thought we wanted to take a picture IN her Betty Boop shirt and said, "do you want me to take it off." As you can see, after a slight laughing fit, we explained to her that we did not want to wear her stinky, sweaty shirt, but wanted her to be in a picture with us!

After leaving the 30 mile SAG station, the wind, heat and lack of shade was really beginning to catch up with me. Not to mention lugging Bertha up all the hills that they seemed to save until the end! Needless to say, we did NOT take any "after photos." The fact that we survived was enough. By the time we finished, the temperature was 97 degrees!

The next weekend, our casual, fun group ride headed downtown for a stop at the Memphis Farmers Market. Since, the heat index has been close to and into the 100's pretty consistently, we decided to start at 7:30 am, instead of our usual, 9:00 am start. What a difference an hour and a half makes! The market was buzzing with activity and the booths were stocked. Normally, I arrive at 11:00 am, when it's all "slim pickin's"

If you haven't had the opportunity to make it to the Farmer's Market, definitely get there before the season ends! It's well worth it, but arrive early for the best selection.